Monday, April 27, 2009

Be careful what you wish for.

I always used to throw the phrase 'I wish something bad would happen to my dad.'
I really regret saying things like this.
My dad was in a car accident yesterday.
It wasn't insanely bad but it could've been way worse.
I feel as if I have some responsibility for thinking the way I did.
It's crazy how you can say things and feel like you want them so bad. Then once they do happen you regret ever saying anything.
I honestly wouldn't know what I would do without my dad.
As much as he annoys me and the bullshit he does.
He's still my dad.
I really hope he's gonna be alright..

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm sad.

Last night I dreamt that I was with family.
I miss everyone.
I just started thinking about how lonely I really am here.
Mom's always at work.
Dad's always drinking.
My sister is young and wouldn't really know.
I really need a trip up to the bay baaaadly.
I woke up crying because of my dream.
I wish I was with everyone up there.
I fucking hate bakersfield.
I'm gonna hate taft.
I hated shafter.
I haven't been truly happy in about six years.
I fucking hate this.
I wanna move back up there.
I'm gonna finish high school and go back up there for college.
No matter fucking what.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


MF DOOM helps me get by.
I need to do something.
Get out of this damn house.
I really need a trip up to the bay mann.
No money tho.
I would save up for it but what's the point.
My dad will probably take the money and go get drunk with it =/
Meh whatever.
I'm pretty much talking to myself since no one reads this.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Fucking great.

I shouldn't be awake.
My dad is drunk off his ass singing loud as fuck.
I'm so tired of his shit.
Worthless fuck.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I cried today.

More than once.
It felt good to release emotions that I've been hiding.
Found out that I'm getting evicted on the 23rd of this month.
And my birthday's on monday.
Happy birthday to me.
I wish that I was back in the bay area.
Where I know that people care about me.
I have no one here.
My mom but she's never home
And my dad always giving me shit for anything possible.
I'm tired of all this.
I wish I could just fast forward all this shit.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Spaceships don't come equipped with rear-view mirrors

CST testing is lamee.
Pretty easy tho.
If only I didn't have so many kids that are SLOOWWWWW at taking the damn test.
And my damn teacher wont let me use my iPod =/
It's all good tho.
Ahhhh I wanna shave my mustache so I look like Hitler but nahh.
It would be funny but it wont grow back right away.
I'm weird haha.